Teddy Bears’ Picnic
Welcome to the 2018 Teddy Bears’ Picnic. The sun will shine and we shall have fun.
7 May 12-4pm.
And we certainly did enjoy the Teddy Bears’ Picnic. On a glorious May Bank Holiday Monday, the cricket field at Abinger Hammer in Surrey became a sea of colour, picnics and teddy bears. The River Tillingbourne flows right through the middle. Just a few inches deep, it is the ultimate “catch a stickleback and put it back” stream. Amazingly, with so many human beings invading their habitat, there were lots of sticklebacks, and other tiny fish, in jam jars and buckets.
Abinger Hammer is named in honour of the iron industry that once graced the valleys nearby. The clock tower showing Jack the Blacksmith who whacks his bell on the hour.
The Picnic is held to raise funds for two schools. Surrey Hills Primary School, where Bobby’s granddaughter Kyla May is a pupil, and Peaslake Free School.
So hold onto your hats, slap on the suntan cream and we are off to the Teddy Bears Picnic.
The Iron of the Tie, grr…
“But first get that iron out, Bobby, and smarten up me bow tie. In situ, since it got wedged and I am not taking me head off for anyone.”
And Bobby 2 came too.
Here’s the green. Not many here yet. Get in the shade for the day.
And here they come.
Here’s Kai. Bobby’s newest grandson. Brother to Sonny and Kyla May.
“Ere! Mind me conk young lad.”
“Corrr. The crowds are arriving.”
Here’s Cody. Friend to the grandchildren.
“Wouldn’t fancy being a stickleback today!”
“Look up that hill! How did those cars get there?”
“Just nipped over to see the clock for you punters!”
“Closer… Over twenty minutes to the next boinnnnngggggg.”
“Does everyone realise how famous I am? They will when they read the programme!”
“At least the view is better than real sumo wrestlers.”
“Blimey. I could do with an ice-cream.”
“Gawd! He’s like a big powder puff!”
“You’re sweet. But is that your name, or your owners?”
“A little bear told me your name Miss Hedgehog. And I have lost it. Was it Auros?”
“Why are we waiting? We are vegetating? Hurry up mate. Get on wiv it!”
“’THAT’S THE WAY TO DO IT. THAT’S THE WAY TO DO IT’. YOU NASTY GIT, PUNCH. FANCY BASHING JUDY WITH A STICK. THAT CROCODILE WILL GET YOU. HE ALWAYS DOES.“
“’HE’S BEHIND YOU. HE’S BEHIND YOU’. BASH@#$#%^. “Serves you bleedin right!”
“Blimey. It’s like Brighton Beach on a Bank Holiday. It is Bank Holiday! But it’s not bleedin Brighton, is it…”
“You’re nice! So are you”. What’s that bear doing?” Ezme and Kyla couldn’t decide on faceprinting and chose a mirror image.
“Isn’t she lovely.
Isn’t she wonderful.
Isn’t she precious?”
“… Gorrr pass the sick bucket”
Love you, Kyla May!
“Any moment… any moment… any moment…”
And it’s the DUCK RACE!
Here they come…
“There they go. Weird ducks. Only two were floating the right way up. The rest were showing off their numbers!”
“Who won?” “Gawd knows, mate. All looked the same to me.”
“Corrr. Under offer? For what?”
Bang, crash , WALLOP. Missed!
“How many kinds of sweet flowers grow
In an English country garden?’ la di da.
“Competition Time.” “Yes! What have we gone in for? WHHATTT?
Most like owner. You must be bleedin joking.“
Most colourful, maybe?
“Ooohhh… I like you. What are you doing later?” “Ballet.”
“Bit ‘ot for that gear!”
“Ere we go. Ere we go. Ere we go.”
“‘Ow about a quiz mate?”
“Nah. I fancy a bit of Elvis. How about this? Right oh, cock.”
“Are you saving the best to last? Well yes. For the second year running, I have written a story for the programme. Really proud, mate…”
And so, as the sun started dipped, all the happy people, with their teddy bears, started going home. Unlike some events, there was very little litter and that was cleared up by everyone. But, like Glastonbury, some things had suddenly become surplus.
So, as we look forward to next year’s Teddy Bears’ Picnic, we look at how sad life can be even for a CB radio teddy bear. Remember them? Get your tissues ready.
This coming week is Mental Health Week.
Lighting a Candle for Diddley.
Diddley loved the Teddy Bears’ Picnic. Her picnics were miles better than Bobby’s. Her bench is close by and young Kyla May lit the candle to remember our lovely lady.
Kyla May at Diddley’s Bench.
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