When Little White Van met Little Miss Naughty.

Posted on 22/10/2017 By

Little White Van.

This is the first ( and maybe the last!) story about LWV. Little White Van. The time he spent with Little Miss Naughty. As you can see, it is an alternative story written in the Mr Men book of that name. Scribbled in a Youth Hostel at Trefin when Bobby, in his younger days, backpacked the Pembrokeshire Coast Path. Stopping at Youth Hostels en route.

It’s up to you to decide as believers in talking, thinking bears whether or not the same claim can be made of a Little White Van!

Little White Van: Little White Van (LWV) looking down to Newgale Beach and across to the St David's peninsular of wonderful Pembrokeshire.

LWV looking down to Newgale Beach and across to the St David’s peninsular of wonderful Pembrokeshire.

Little White Van: Little Miss Naughty.

Little Miss Naughty.

Little White Van: One day Little Miss Naughty met Mr Tall. She liked Mr Tall and went swimming with him. But she thought he was a goody goody!

One day Little Miss Naughty met Mr Tall. She liked Mr Tall and went swimming with him. But she thought he was a goody goody!

Little White Van: Little did she know that he was looking under water with his special naughty goggles at all her naughty bits……!

Little did she know that he was looking under water with his special naughty goggles at all her naughty bits……!

:Little White Van: Mr Tall’s best friend is Little White Van. Vroom, vroom, toot toot. ! ”I really like Mr Tall” said Little White Van. “He takes me to lots of lovely places. And keeps me clean and tidy”.

Mr Tall’s best friend is Little White Van. Vroom, vroom, toot toot. ! ”I really like Mr Tall” said LWV. “He takes me to lots of lovely places. And keeps me clean and tidy”.

Little White Van: But since he met Little Miss Naughty he has become very naughty himself. Vroom, vroom, toot, toot. “I had to turn my headlights off at Leith Hill and Fourwents Pond.”

But since he met Little Miss Naughty he has become very naughty himself. Vroom, vroom, toot, toot. “I had to turn my headlights off at Leith Hill and Fourwents Pond.”

Little White Van: You see Little Miss Naughty gave Mr Tall a very naughty kiss. He was so excited he grew even taller. Awesome you could call it!

You see Little Miss Naughty gave Mr Tall a very naughty kiss. He was so excited he grew even taller. Awesome you could call it!

Little White Van: Vroom, vroom, toot, toot. “We’ve had lots more adventures” said Little White Van. “But she is just as naughty.”

Vroom, vroom, toot, toot. “We’ve had lots more adventures” said Little White Van. “But she is just as naughty.”

Little White Van: “I’m glad you can”t see through my windows.”

“I’m glad you can”t see through my windows.”

Little White Van: “My springs were squeaking so bad.”

“My springs were squeaking so bad.”

Little White Van: “I didn’t know where to look. Especially when they took all their clothes off……………….”

“I didn’t know where to look. Especially when they took all their clothes off……………….”

Little White Van: “To go swimming…..”

“To go swimming…..”

Little White Van: “I like Little Miss Naughty” said Little White Van. Vroom, vroom, toot, toot. “Mr Tall always laughs and whistles now when we drive together.”

“I like Little Miss Naughty” said Little White Van. Vroom, vroom, toot, toot. “Mr Tall always laughs and whistles now when we drive together.”

Little White Van: “But she is very still very naughty when she gets drunk and is rude to policewomen.”

“But she is very still very naughty when she gets drunk and is rude to policewomen.”

Little White Van: “But that's why he loves her and Little White Van. And so Little Miss Naughty and Mr Tall became Mr and Mrs Happy.”

“But that’s why he loves her and Little White Van. And so Little Miss Naughty and Mr Tall became Mr and Mrs Happy.”

Little White Van: And drove off in Little White Van to live happily ever after. Vroom, vroom, toot, toot, vroom, vroom!!!!!!

And drove off in LWV to live happily ever after. Vroom, vroom, toot, toot, vroom, vroom!!!!!!

Little White Van: You would have to be a mug to think LWV is better than a big Rolls Royce Phantom. And here’s the proof…..

You would have to be a mug to think LWV is better than a big Rolls Royce Phantom. And here’s the proof…..

Little White Van: Love Mr Tall, Trefin YHA October 1999.

Love Mr Tall, Trefin YHA October 1999.

I Don’t Believe It!

Victor Meldrew "I Don't Believe It"!

I Don’t Believe It!

“Holy €$¥%! A wave has blown through the first floor window at the lighthouse.” So exclaimed Giselle Eagle on Skokholm Island a few days ago.

Giselle Eagle:

Giselle Eagle Warden of Skokholm Island

To be read to soothing music:

Little White Van: The Broken Window.

The Broken Window.

Look where the first floor is and bear in mind the lighthouse is some fifty foot above the sea. Its also been there 100 years. The wave took out the entire window frame and smashed everything in the room.

Little White Van: The Lighthouse.

The Lighthouse.

Little White Van: Surveying the Scene.

Surveying the Scene.

Giselle and Richard were at the other end of the island photographing the waves shown below.

Little White Van: Stormy Waves.

Stormy Waves. If you look closely, you might be able to make out the jetty in the foreground where the boat normally comes in! See below.

Little White Van: Where the boat comes into Dream Island.

Where the boat comes into Dream Island on a rather calmer day.

We are used to disasters. Happens all the time. We sympathise. We may contribute to appeals. But ultimately we are glad it wasn’t us. The British Isles and Ireland have had their fair share, but not on the magnitude of some lately. Hurricanes in the Caribbean et al. So when one does come our way we eulogise about it. Commemorate it. Never forget. So how bizarre should it be that hurricane Ophelia’s weakening strength crossing the Atlanta should still create mayhem exactly forty years to the day since the great storm of 1987. In London, we thought Armageddon was coming when the sky went an eerie orange red from stirred up fires in Portugal and desert sands. But on the west coast things were much dicier. Ireland and Scotland and our beloved Dream Island in Pembrokeshire Wales had nothing between them and America.

Being hit by a fifty foot wave in a lighthouse must be awesome. But this lighthouse is on top of a cliff and relatively sheltered. Can you imagine what is was like not so many years ago when lighthouses were manned. And further out, a few miles from Skokholm, stands the Smalls lighthouse. The most remote lighthouse operated by Trinity House, that we visited in August. Stories of lighthouse keepers going mad abound. See Kenny Birdringer.

Little White Van: Smalls Lighthouse.

Smalls Lighthouse.

Looking at the Skokholm blog, it’s back to normal. Winds dropped. Seas calmed down and they are ringing birds for the last period before the island is abandoned for the winter. Volunteer work parties will try to get over to do some temporary repairs to see out the winter before they return next spring for another summer on Dream Island.
_______________________________________

Lighting a Candle to Diddley.

Bobby: “I loved Little White Van. The first time I came to Laurel Cottage I drove the van in a boiler suit, flat cap and with a sarf London accent said. “Take it or leave it”. It was an alter ego par excellence.”

Little White Van: Lighting a Candle to Diddly: Candle in White Van Mug - and Dinky Toy.

Candle in White Van Mug – and Dinky Toy.

“Sadly it went the way of most Little White Vans. Consumed by rust. I would love to have it now but instead am content with the one van in the house. A 1952 Dinky Toy.”
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Dream IslandI Don't Believe It!Little White Van    


  1. Felicity Drewett says:

    I loved WV too. Many interesting work trips into East Sussex where I still work. Amazing food at the Queen’s Head. I wonder at how WVM could eas t steak pie and then apple pie! The WV even took me to hospital after a duspected TIA in 2006 – very scary when you are just 43. WVM stayed with me and was joined by the ageing rocker Ricky Reigate. They made everyone laugh…I miss the Little White Van. Mainly happy memories. Bless you Little Miss Naughty.

    • Bob says:

      Ahhhh Fliss. Wasnt it fun.! But you never had access to the inner sanctum. These are the recordable incidents for LWV. The others are
      are for posterity. But you young ones should remember. We were 55 and 49 respectively when we teamed up in Little White Van. Interior cladding. Carpeted floor…….
      If I was asked about time travel I wouldnt have to go back far for the best time of my life.

  2. Jonathan Burns says:

    I remember little white van, god bless it! Those winds in Pembroke shire can be formidable. I parked at Newgale once and the wind ripped the door of Jane’s Renault 21 out of my hands as I was opening it and bent it right round: we had a dreadful time trying to shut it again and all the car’s body work was bent. Nothing compared to a fifty foot wave smashing your window in, of course, but still tricky, particularly when trying to drive back on the M4 without the door falling off!

  3. Bernard Bruty says:

    ashamed to post late one on your script but a line to say it was amazing so well put together loved it….

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