Three years on
Is it really three years on?
It is hard to believe we lost Bobby just over three years ago. Although I had only really known him for a few short years, I felt he was the older brother I had never had. Even now, so many things remind me of him. Premier Inns, for one! Plus all those moments that I would have shared with him.
And then times when we happen to stumble across a place that had been the subject of a blog. The Phoenix Garden was a good example. We had originally found it when our daughter was MD for the show “Bonnie and Clyde” at the Arts Theatre, just around the corner. Although, to be fair, I was more interested in the closed Odeon Cinema adjacent! More recently, we enjoyed a picnic in there when attending a radio show recording at the Phoenix Art Club, little knowing at the time that Bobby had been there.
Another time we discovered the memorial to the Street Cat Named Bob – again, when we were attending a show our daughter was MDing at the Kings Head Theatre in Islington. I took a photo and WhatsApped it to Bobby – “Look where we are!”
We spent a fair bit of time on our boat in the London area. When we were in Brentford, I got chatting to another boater – who was attracted to our dogs which I was walking. I spotted a bicycle on the back of the boat, but it was only sometime later (and sadly after Bobby passed), that I realised I had seen it before. In my defence, there are over 9,500 photographs on the blog, so unless you know where to look…
“George”
I still don’t know what his real name is!
Memories of Bobby.
I first met Bobby in Spitalfields over a weekend in the middle of May 2016. As it happens, the weekend before my birthday. This was the “Gentle Author’s” (GA) course on “How to write a blog that people will want to read”. Originally, we were booked on the previous course, but family circumstances forced a last-minute change. Otherwise, we would never have met Bobby.
It was a weekend that passed all too quickly. However, realising that not everyone on the course was technically savvy, I made the offer to provide hosting and technical support to anyone who was interested. Bobby expressed an interest and, as the saying goes, the rest is history!
Bobby took a while to get his head around what he wanted. The idea of Mindfully Bertie was spawned over the weekend, when the GA suggested he wrote the blog through the eyes and voice of Bertie.
This was one of the early emails Bobby sent me:
“I’M SO EXCITED. Just look at me in my rucksack. I was staying at home. But now Europe beckons. My own blog. And YES, I think a silk scarf fit for a pearly king bear would be right proper for a bear such as I. A shirt of lace might be …. you know! Just don’t mention that my roots lie in …….America. When my fame is wide-spread I’ll come clean. But for now, it’s our secret……
Necksize is roughly Ballcock’s big hands wrapped round my neck.
Corrr
Bertie”
First, we agreed on the layout theme. Then, it was the initial content to explain what the blog was about. I volunteered to set that all up for him and we were happy with the results. Bobby was also pleased with my offer to produce the first blog in WordPress so that he could see how it was all done and then take over.
Bobby was clearly excited by the whole concept. Shortly after the course, he (and Bertie, of course) were off on one of their many jaunts – including one to Austria. During this time, I received many emails as things sprang to his mind:
“Dear Tim
I hope the birthday (Tracey’s) went well and you achieved a million house points. Your wife is lovely.
My prevarication is understandable but still an excuse. I had a brilliant day yesterday at Flying Legends Airshow. With my friend Anne we took Bertie. He is a catalyst for smiles, laughs, breaking down barriers and chatting up ladies. I’ll send an example in a minute.
I have just written the text for the very first blog. A preview. There will be plenty of pictures including the wedding day. I am reminding my friend Nikki that I need the amended header back and then it is over to you. I think….!
In the meantime my photography has fallen foul of the magnificent I Phone. It has limitations but is unbeatable in poor light. I am going back to a “proper” camera when I can. May even upgrade to a Fuji.
Bob”
Little did I realise at the time, but this would become the norm!
This was followed by these emails, which I didn’t realise at the time was a warning shot…
“Also got a newish I Pad Air Not used to it yet. So, I am joining in some Apple Store workshops. Unlike you of course the technology scares me. Hope this opens. Bob”
A few days later:
“Many years ago my son said I suffer with techno fear. I fear an attack coming on…… ha ha”
After the introductory blog and on the run-up to the first “real” blog:
“Targets… First post next few days.
Your second paragraph. I haven’t got my head round one key thing…, can’t even see an “edit” click…. The situation I want to get to is ….heh here’s this week’s blog. It’s so easy to write and illustrate. I want to do it myself. But still haven’t a clue. But will have…soon.
I like the cafe on the beach at Shoreham. On the cycle route. Behind all the industrial crap on the Brighton side. The cycle route zig zags through the harbour. I am a Sustrans ranger on top of everything else. Another future blog.
How’s your lovely lady?
Bob”
There were several clues here on how the future would pan out. You can see clearly how active Bobby’s mind was in planning ahead. But also, how plans were overtaken by events. The promised Sustrans blog referred to was one of many that never materialised. Bobby had so many ideas, but then something unplanned would happen that would take on more importance.
Bobby knew Shoreham well. That was something else we had in common, as my wife and I had lived in Sompting (near Shoreham) for 25 years – and my wife had been ‘born and dragged up in Shoreham’ (her words, not mine)!
Moving on, we finally published the “Welcome to Mindfully Bertie” as a first blog post. Another coincidence? This went live on our wedding anniversary!
It was just under 3 weeks later that the first official blog was posted – Dream Island. Bobby and Bertie took us many times to this location that we all learned was a special place for them. By this time, Bobby had established the WordPress side of things was not for him:
“Tim – I’m not lazy but would rather write blogs than do the setting up! Would you mind doing the lot? Set it all up and “bobby” for something.
Thank you. I am so glad I asked you to do all this. Have a feeling this is a proper friendship and all down to the GA. When people say you do a lot, I say why don’t you?
Bob”
And that was how we continued. Initially, Bobby would send me the text in an email, and the pictures came separately – with specific instructions as to where they should go. As his iPad training progressed, he became more confident and managed to create PDFs with the pictures where he wanted them.
Bobby was fascinated by our way of life – living on a narrowboat, so it wasn’t long before he came to visit us. At that point we were in Newbury – and he booked himself and Bertie into the nearby Premier Inn.
As time went on, Bobby was constantly pinging me pictures of what he was up to. Initially by email, but progressing onto Messenger and WhatsApp as his technical expertise grew!
And, similarly, I would send him pictures of things I knew would interest him. He was always interested in what we were up to.
The blogs themselves never formed a pattern, and that’s what made them so special. It was the result of Bobby’s exuberance to share his own adventures – including his personal medical disasters. Only Bobby could have had a photograph taken of him by the parademics in an Ambulance holding Bertie! (Diary of a Heart Attack).
That’s better!
And, of course, that’s why so many planned blogs never happened, as events overtook him. The last time we met we (apparently) had a “board meeting” during which we discussed “the plan”. In Bobby’s minutes of that meeting published in the follow blog, it read “The plan is – there isn’t one!”.
Over the last 6 years our friendship grew. I felt we became “Best Friends”, although I am sure every friend of Bobby’s was a “Best Friend”, such was his character and zest for life.
We had shared interests in buses and trains (both new and old) and, to a lesser extent, aircraft. Some of our last exchanges were about the merits of different types of the modern London Buses! Bobby, being tall and preferring to sit upstairs, he liked the Alexander Dennis electric buses and hated the Boris Buses, as the headroom upstairs was better for him and the Boris Buses too hot.
We, on the other hand, because we have two assistance dogs so can’t travel upstairs, prefer the Boris Buses. The Alexander Dennis seating arrangement downstairs in the accessible section is really cramped and the seats by the wheelchair bay (where we prefer to sit as there is much more room for the dogs) are up a level with a panel between, which makes it incredibly awkward.
When I said to him I was thinking about going to one of the forthcoming London Transport Acton Depot Open Days, I immediately got a message back saying he could only make the first one, as he was going away the next day!
As well as coming to visit on several occasions, Bobby also joined us on a couple of trips to shows our eldest daughter was involved in. She was embarking on her career as a Musical Director and Bobby enthused with us. On one famous occasion, due to a rail strike, he picked us up at Wimbledon Station to take us to Thames Ditton to see Debbi’s show. Mr “I don’t need a Sat Nav” was so busy talking on the journey that he completely lost his way, and it was only when we reached the M25 that I had the confidence to question his navigation skills! Strangely, after that he was happy to rely on my instructions based on the Google Maps SatNav.
I loved Bobby’s self-deprecating style. He rarely missed an opportunity for Bertie to point out his mistakes. Again, this made the blogs so readable. I would often get additional comments, not intended for the blog, along the same lines, which always made me laugh.
We learnt a lot about Bobby – his family history which he wrote about so eloquently. The early stories of happy times with Diddley, especially the trips to Whitby. He brought Diddley to life in his writing. His love of flowers was legendary – I always dreaded blogs on anything horticultural, because I knew they would contain loads of photos. Photos always took quite a long time to get right on the blog.
Of course, we have now published all the blogs Bobby had sent me. I have no doubt that he left many partially written blogs behind him. Mindfully Bertie has been a big part of my life for 6 years. That bear really got under my skin – I can remember on one occasion changing the wording on one comment, telling Bobby “Bertie wouldn’t have said that!”
Bobby often touched on interesting subjects which then sent me following some research, which I would then share with Bobby. On the odd occasion, this would make it into the blog.
I still miss the sharing of photos and comments. When we went into Central London to take the “Lighting a Candle” photo, we spent some time in St James’ Park. I realised that 6 years of Mindfully Bertie had opened my eyes to the beauty of parks (which was partially responsible for my “Wolverhampton Covid Walk” blog). I had to stop myself sending photographs to Bobby, as I would have done. I also realised that had circumstances been different both us and Bobby would have been in the same area of London at the same time and would have met up – even if only briefly.
On the Sunday, we walked along the Thames from Kew to Richmond; again, partly inspired by Bobby’s blogs. I could see the things he would have enjoyed and took photos accordingly.
Although there is a big Bobby-sized hole in my life now, I know it’s nothing like the hole left in the lives of his family. We lost someone who was “larger than life” and knew how to live life to the full. I am so grateful that I had the pleasure and privilege to have known him and miss him terribly.
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